Updating Social Expectations in IRL

By Anneliese Croslin, Staff Writer

Courtesy of ISTOCK

To acquire a good state of mental health one must have a healthy sense of self. It’s important to understand who one is beyond how others perceive that individual. Though, focusing too much on oneself strips a person of relationships and the ability to put others first. It is better to promote the care for others needs rather than focusing on oneself entirely. 

Social media creates an environment where people can easily become self absorbed as they have access to post themselves, their beliefs, and their life entirely. Everything is centered around that individual, including not only what they post but also their feeds, which revolves around what that individual’s interests are. It also leaves individuals to obsess over how others perceive them. Likes and new followers create this temporary feeling of reassurance and validation.

“While social media exposes us to others, it tends to do so in a manner that encourages comparisons and distance,” Licensed Clinical Social Worker Jennifer Gerlach said. 

People tend to compare themselves with others and are in this constant state of confliction of whether they are ‘good enough’ for their followers. This causes a disconnection between people rather than any true bonding. People are so focused on themselves and how others perceive them, how others compare them, that they hide any sense of vulnerability. Without this vulnerability there is no foundation for any true relationship with others. 

This notion of focusing on oneself also causes a wave of depression and isolation. When an individual is completely isolated and focused on who they are, blocking out any glimpse of their surroundings, they will only feel worse about themselves. The time spent helping others and thinking about others needs is a time to break away from the self absorbed thoughts one may have. This act of helping other people will lead to more fulfillment and happiness as opposed to only caring for one’s own needs. 

“Any time we get outside of our own head and think about other peoples’ experiences, it helps put our experiences into perspective,” English teacher Kimberly Weir said.  

Those people who are isolated into a world of themselves will fall into the trap of pitying themselves as well. Though exploring the moments of other peoples’ lives will allow individuals to see outside of their own moments. This allows people to grow and mature. It empowers people to fix their problems rather than dwell in them.